A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result. The first morning after his face has healed, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 35," was the reply.
"I'm actually 48," the man says happily.
A little while later he goes to McDonalds for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess you're 29."
"Nope, I am actually 48."
So now, he's really feeling good about himself. While standing at the bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants for two minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."
As no one else was around, the man agreed and let her slip her hand down his pants. Two minutes later the old lady says, "OK, You're 48."
Stunned the man says, "Incredible! How did you know that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonalds."