My Letter to Employers

[EminemBase]

Looking for a job currently, so I thought I'd write-up a personal letter to show proactive interest and lay bare my incentives to potential employers. Ehem...

==

Dear whoever reads this,

I wish to be employed by your (or whoever hires me first, I barely even know what you do, if that lets you know how little I care which) company, of which you guys are the only company I wish to work fo.. oh, kind of gave myself away with that revelation in brackets ay?

Well anyway, as for my qualifications - I have none and have no intention of getting any; but I'm smart as hell, good looking (if that helps?), quite funny when I can be bothered to speak to other humans and one week out of 52... I may even surprise you and do quite a decent job of something; as for the other 51 weeks... well, that's a gamble even on my watch, really does depend which side of sociopathic my mind wakes up on that day.

I want to be paid lots of money for very little (none would be great btw, if that is an option) work and yet still get the praise and appreciation as if I am the most hard-working individual on your team, who I don't wish to interact with but would like to be admired and revered by.

I expect very little to no questioning of my procedures, how I do my work or from your 'fancy shamcy corporate perspective, even how I ''don't'' do my work', we all have our methods and I ask that you don't be sexist.

I'll be starting some time in the near future, and I may or may not wear a suit, depends on if I want to feel like a secret agent that day... regardless of when I start, I expect to be paid from today, including for the time it took to write this letter to you; the time of which I will greatly exaggerate in my invoice to you, to be paid more for less, of course. It's a cat eat... or, dog? something like that, who has time for sayings ay.

Bye.

==

Reckon I'm in with a good shot guys?

[PAINKILLƎR]

Lmfao

smh

[Willy]

Lol. Sounds about right...

[Elision]

embase your sense of humor is as bad as this guys http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rqd9cWm9mVM

step it up