The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Smooth Sailing

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Smooth Sailing

Postby Spyder » Mar 16th, '14, 05:26

posting.php?mode=reply&f=24&t=170116

i see em comin, yeah i welcome the new wave in
dudes fall by the waist and all the crews changin
i could give a fuck whose playin or what dudes name is
cause ever since i hit first place, its been smooth sailing.

yeah I'm eight armed with weapons, my targets set in
darts with tetanus, prepare for war with how many Arm-a-gettin.
i may be smooth sailing but I'm showin I'm still a starvin veteran
I'm John Taffer, better any Bar I'm Tendin
I'm a head case, step ahead like a hearse in a Death Race
leave em bullet riddled til your Superman, lead frame.
cave in and go cavemen, eat off your chest plate
ain't talking a hop hop heads fade, when i make a hip hop head, fade.
Let's look I move straight forward like a chess rook its text book
Leave vets Shook every track soon as they feel S Hook.
Ask if I'm pissed off, yeah they basically rigged my chair
I circle these rappers then X em out like Hip Hop Squares.
You actually think you'd seen the last me, lining up casualties
I'd smash Geno, Ray, or DGAF if those faggots dare to battle me.
Sufferin suckers get snuffed and split in two, fucking get rid of you
I'm going at everyone tell Just Silver he can get it too.
But I ain't even mad this is just hype for my album
But if CP had the balls for a rematch it'd be a different outcome.

i see em comin, yeah i welcome the new wave in
dudes fall by the waist and all the crews changin
i could give a fuck whose playin or what dudes name is
cause ever since i hit first place, its been smooth sailing.
ImageImageImage
User avatar
Spyder
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9418
Joined: Jan 31st, '09, 01:56
Location: El Dorado
Gender: Male

Re: Smooth Sailing

Postby Just Silver » Mar 16th, '14, 16:06

I liked this one has a weird intro piece but I like how it fits and flows into the next segment

Had some decent punches and some research worthy ones as well
Meaning I learn from them as well as Google a certain mention of something or a person
Which is always a plus

Overall I liked the name drops and everything was pretty decent
A little choppy in spots but good shit id love to go audio on your next album tbh
Image
User avatar
Just Silver
Band Leader
Band Leader
 
Posts: 7791
Joined: Jun 27th, '09, 03:40
Location: East Coast
Gender: Male

Re: Smooth Sailing

Postby SandMan » Mar 24th, '14, 02:14

I like this, I just hate reading it because you usually get the outcome out of your rhymes that I try to get, I cant explain it but the way you rhyme is the way I try to rhyme lol. good stuff though I like your similes and metaphors. keep it up.
SandMan
Closet Cleaner
Closet Cleaner
 
Posts: 40
Joined: Mar 24th, '14, 00:02


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users