Asteroid

[Mr.DGAF]

Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=172715
Beat: http://www.shadowville.com/123414/genres/east-coast-beats/real-music

Gonna record this eventually


[Verse 1]
As hard as it seems, I bare it all and call it a dream
It's all me, but I wear it all, my hearts on my sleeve
It never fazed me to reveal my deepest thoughts on a track
As often as all of it happened I was part of the problem
Acknowledging all of it started when I had started to rap
It’s awkward I gotta admit it, shit it caused me to snap
There’s honesty somewhere inside me
And I figured if I put my thoughts to writing it would find it
But I often feel trapped
Exhibit A: I wrote a track believing people would notice
And trashed a girl I used to know, in the heat of the moment
I seemed to think it was dope
Like that would be retaliation for the things she provoked
But didn’t think of my growth
A month later I regret I even wrote the shit
Let alone recorded, had it mixed and went promoting it
Only then I noticed I’ve been focusing on little shit
But didn’t get how music worked, welcome to my universe, this is how intense it gets

[Hook]
There’s something in, the air tonight
I see the stars align in space
It’s coming, I see the asteroid heading
For this path but I’ll be alright
It’s rushing and, the people by my side
Seem to think everything’s alright
There’s something in, the air tonight
Everything’s gonna be alright

[Verse 2]
Contemplating every flow on a greater step
No telescope, I don’t need an observation desk
Living life inside the lines I wrote
Never liked my image so I’m fighting mirrors, making a kaleidoscope
Now I selectively choose what I wanna see
And I’ll never be you, so accept what I’m gonna be
In reality I’ve got a couple years to have fun
But that mentality is flawed, I’m not really that young
They tell me it’s a small world
But I’ve never made it out of my head so I’m really not sure
There’s a danger in living your dreams
Cause real life will pass you by even when you’re asleep
The end result is all the same, just a mound of dirt
How you earn your living while living it will amount to worth
Even though it sounds absurd, I gotta hope the future is bright
I shoot for the sky, but people say I’m down to earth, bound to dirt

[Hook x2]
There’s something in, the air tonight
I see the stars align in space
It’s coming, I see the asteroid heading
For this path but I’ll be alright
It’s rushing and, the people by my side
Seem to think everything’s alright
There’s something in, the air tonight
Everything’s gonna be alright

[EvryOnesACrtc]

Very dope stuff. I can't wait to hear it recorded. Should be good. This was really deep, and I haven't heard this subject get touched on before, so props. My favorite line would have to be the 'small world but always in my head (I'm paraphrasing, of course)' one.

[Sam.]

That was a very impressive piece of work. The thought was good, understandable. I can relate to some of the thing that you said, so Kudos for that. Come to think of it, you've been writing for a quite a while now, so I kinda expect more that this. I mean, the Verses are dope, no doubt there. But, the overall phrasing could have been a little more complex. You know that there's always different ways of saying the same thing, right? "Tomato-Tamale"

For eg:

You: I went up and down and I became seasick of it.
Re-Phrasing what you said: Through all the Ups and Down till I was seasick.

Not a great shining example, but you'll get my point.

[Eedee]

So much whew.

Really liked all the space references. I actually had the "mound of dirt" scheme jotted on in my phone recently haha. Siiiick.

[Mr.DGAF]

Very dope stuff. I can't wait to hear it recorded. Should be good. This was really deep, and I haven't heard this subject get touched on before, so props. My favorite line would have to be the 'small world but always in my head (I'm paraphrasing, of course)' one.

Thanks man.

So much whew.

Really liked all the space references. I actually had the "mound of dirt" scheme jotted on in my phone recently haha. Siiiick.

Whew da space for Eedee

That was a very impressive piece of work. The thought was good, understandable. I can relate to some of the thing that you said, so Kudos for that. Come to think of it, you've been writing for a quite a while now, so I kinda expect more that this. I mean, the Verses are dope, no doubt there. But, the overall phrasing could have been a little more complex. You know that there's always different ways of saying the same thing, right? "Tomato-Tamale"

For eg:

You: I went up and down and I became seasick of it.
Re-Phrasing what you said: Through all the Ups and Down till I was seasick.

Not a great shining example, but you'll get my point.

I getcha. I've noticed lately I write everything very straightforward. Basically what you see is what you get. This piece was actually me trying to change that a bit haha.

[Dirrt]

I really liked this

There’s a danger in living your dreams
Cause real life will pass you by even when you’re asleep
The end result is all the same, just a mound of dirt
How you earn your living while living it will amount to worth

This is not criticism this is just the way my mind works, but every time I read

There’s something in, the air tonight

I got this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHjieD6CTYs

[Just Silver]

In reality I’ve got a couple years to have fun
But that mentality is flawed, I’m not really that young

Those lines remind me of myself lol

This was great it flowed almost perfect
Only problem was the chorus it was too much for a hook imo

Didn't have a chance to listen to the beat because unless it's recorded that'll throw me off

But good shit we need to collab sometime