Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

[MistaVijilantee]

You actually kinda sound like Macklemore.
My main critique is a lot of the time some of the phrases don't rhyme but I don't think that matters but it's supposed to be "poetic", yeah?
Solid track, nice & laid back.

[TripleNineThree]

@TripleNineThree Damn 19 is young!! I'm 25 and I can't see myself getting married now, but more power to you. I'm glad you could relate to the song, because I was not the one getting married but I tried to put myself in someone else's shoes and write from that perspective which can be difficult. Thanks for the feedback!

Also, I listed to that Broken Dram track of yours, really good!! I loved the hook. Who did the beat?

Thanks!! The beat is by Sean Divine

[da r star]

You actually kinda sound like Macklemore.
My main critique is a lot of the time some of the phrases don't rhyme but I don't think that matters but it's supposed to be "poetic", yeah?
Solid track, nice & laid back.

Thanks for the feedback homie.

Macklemore really? lol I've actually never listened to any of his song except the singles. When you say a lot of time it didn't rhyme, can you point out some? Because there's really one place I can think of that I messed it up, it's on the opening of the 3rd verse, "message to ya/that's what is love", I was suppose to say "love" in a way to rhyme it with "ya", but I forgot and I loved that take too much lol.

[MistaVijilantee]

You actually kinda sound like Macklemore.
My main critique is a lot of the time some of the phrases don't rhyme but I don't think that matters but it's supposed to be "poetic", yeah?
Solid track, nice & laid back.

Thanks for the feedback homie.

Macklemore really? lol I've actually never listened to any of his song except the singles. When you say a lot of time it didn't rhyme, can you point out some? Because there's really one place I can think of that I messed it up, it's on the opening of the 3rd verse, "message to ya/that's what is love", I was suppose to say "love" in a way to rhyme it with "ya", but I forgot and I loved that take too much lol.

Nah, you do, man.
Especially, when you raise your voice.
Actually, at the start:
"Sitting with my whole life ahead of me
24, I'm already ready to write the rest of it"
It doesn't ruin the song or anything, lol but unless your intention was to drop a 1 liner here and there it can sound awkward.
Tbh, in that instance it didn't but be careful, it did sorta in the example you gave.
Never the less I was impressed bro, keep it up!

[da r star]

I did do something unusual, where the rhyming is before the end, "life ahead/write the rest". But you are right, it does feel awkward a bit, I'mma be more careful, thanks man you have no idea how important all feedback is important to me.