Catastrophic - "That's You Talking"

[Eedee]

Feed: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=164495#p2348452

Song: https://soundcloud.com/eedeemusic/catas ... ou-talking

Catastrophic
THAT'S YOU TALKING
(Prod. by Tha Venom)

[Verse 1: Eedee]
I'm getting dizzy like I'm sniffing sharpies,
I'm getting pissy so I stop all these different heartbeats.
I'm feeling like a missing art piece,
You gotta be kidding with me, I'm here sitting on dark streets.
Sitting on car seats, trying to take my mind off,
Staring out the window, the rain, it makes the night soft.
This guy is quite lost, living with no direction,
I fight this life off and I'm thinking with cold connections.
A brain freeze, hoping when this train leaves,
I can stay seated it's pointless where they place me.
Angry, I don't give a shit, I can live with it,
But if I can't at least I know how I'm ending it.
I'm penning it, the suicide note rhymes,
I'm not a special kid, you can tie rope, right?
I hope my - flashbacks as they go by,
I'm sick of being laughed at, that'll end in no time.
Soon I'll be so fly, flying up to heaven heights,
You're walking down seven flights of stairs, you better recognize.
Cuz when I sever ties, this pen will never die,
Do this forever like you'll question if he ever cried.

[Interlude: Eedee]
When things get tough and you don't know what to do...
Have a few options.
You can live or you can die it's up to you...
That's the you talking. (x2)

[Verse 2: DGAF]
You weren't expecting this, now you gotta fear the noise
Even if my vocal cords broke y'all would hear my voice
Dope with words but the lack of funds wasn't right
Broke and poor yet I'm hoping for a muhfucking mic
Wonder why I won't afford one, I'm left to record with
A fucking smartphone, it's hard though I'll perservere
Every person hears my words but quality is poor since
Poverty has hurt my peers, it's worse when you have a goal
And can't control the path you go because you lack the dough
But no excuse my actions show that working still
Has a home, even though these people don't respect the grind
That I show, fortunate my weapon lies with a pen I specialize
In writing wreckless rhymes but couldn't lay it out
For a check I'll try and store my skill and take a paper route
Until the paper's route is back into my bank account
The verdict lies upon the forum's eyes if I've made it now

[mdemaz]

[Mr.DGAF]

The original was better imo, had more energy and better delivery. This is okay, though.

[Eedee]

The original was better imo, had more energy and better delivery. This is okay, though.

Yeah.

[yung rom]

Damn. I didn't hear an original version of this, but I love this. The beat is awesome and Eedee - that verse is near-flawless. The last note of the first and third lines of chorus didn't really fit (I didn't think it matched the instrumental pitch-wise), but I liked the way you said the words (of the chorus). DGAF - Your flow is sick! The rhymes were also really creative (Lay it out, paper route, bank account, made it now). Good job guys, this is so good.

[Eedee]

Thanks, man! Glad you liked it!

As for the chorus, I had no idea what to do with it, honestly. It doesn't sound bad, and that's good enough for me for just a one-time interlude hook thing.

edit: Fuck you a bit. I cannot unhear that hook now the way you talked about it.

[KoLyric]

I'm going to run out of songs to give feedback to at this point, but I felt it to be fitting to check out another track of yours. This time including another artist. (I assume Catastrophic is the duo project you and DGAF are apart of? Pardon my ignorance.)
Eedee, the shady influence is more potent to me now, but that isn't a bad thing at all. You're able to emulate it well, and deliver it with energy. "I'm feeling like a missing art piece," is my favorite line. Flow is steady throughout, I didn't notice any slip-ups!
The hook, unfortunately, sounded off to me. I'm not sure if it was off beat, or it just sounded out of tune to me. Nonetheless, it worked and didn't really take away from the track in its entirety. The verses are more than enough reason to let that slide.

Mr. DGAF, while your flow was consistent throughout, I feel like it would have thrived more if it were structured differently. I understand and enjoy the constant/rapid-fire esque flow you went for, but, especially this kind of track, it could have sounded great with punch lines. (Now, this term I use loosely.)
The delivery is great, good energy, and the lyrics were good. "Until the paper's route is back into my bank account" most notably was my favorite line. (Taking the set up into consideration).
I didn't like how your verse ended, though. Felt unnatural and abrupt.

All in all, dope collab guys! Evidently, I'll be around to hear more whenever you release other material.

[Eedee]

Eedee, the shady influence is more potent to me now, but that isn't a bad thing at all. You're able to emulate it well, and deliver it with energy. "I'm feeling like a missing art piece," is my favorite line. Flow is steady throughout, I didn't notice any slip-ups!
The hook, unfortunately, sounded off to me. I'm not sure if it was off beat, or it just sounded out of tune to me. Nonetheless, it worked and didn't really take away from the track in its entirety. The verses are more than enough reason to let that slide.

Thank you. Obviously Eminem is a big influence for me, but I don't consciously try to emulate him. This is just the way I write/record. If I tend to sound like Eminem, it's totally unconsciously. I'm trying to be me. (However, Em is one of the GOATs, so it's sort of a compliment!)

As for the hook, I totally see what you mean. The tone was off, it should've been lower on retrospect. It doesn't fit.

I didn't like how your verse ended, though. Felt unnatural and abrupt.

That's my fault. I tried to mix it with some reverb/delay to make it feel better, but I couldn't get anything I liked so I left it as is.

All in all, dope collab guys! Evidently, I'll be around to hear more whenever you release other material.

Have you checked out our duo mixtape? 8 songs of just us.

Btw, do you make music? "Withered Wallflower"?

[KoLyric]

I tried to wait until I've established myself as an avid member of the website, but yes. I occasionally record and have an EP/CD/Idk-what-to-call-it coming out later this month (Hopefully).

And don't take offense to the eminem reference. Like you said, it's a compliment! haha but I agree that you have developed your own sound along the way. (Honestly, that's how all artists start off. You'll always hear traces of other musicians in their craft. Music, with anyone, is the combination of many influences before them, that are twisted to a mostly orignal use. For most. lol)

And with the end of his verse, it seemed like he recorded more bars that could have fit and ended up ending the verse with an extra bar. This alludes to my comment about his verse structure. Somewhere along the way he had an irregular A/b/a/b format that overlapped to the verse's end.

[Eedee]

I'll check it out when you drop it! I'd love to hear what you sound like. My album is coming out October 25, might be around the time yours drops.

I see what you mean with his verse's ending. It didn't really bother me that much. In the original song, he kinda spoke it out like an outro. In this one he rapped it more. So I could see the confusion now haha.

[Mr.DGAF]

Thanks for the feed man, definitely appreciate it. This is old in terms of when we wrote it; I think we've both grown in that aspect. As for the ending, yeah, I feel you on that. That's one of the two parts of my written part of the song I'm not too huge on.

[MistaVijilantee]

Holy fuck, this slaps!
I don't have anything to say other than this one of the best songs I've heard by you guys, particular you Eedee.
(y)

[Eedee]

Nice, thanks!