My new song "A.D.H.D" - Vijilantee

[MistaVijilantee]

LoF: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=168584

Hey guys,
I'd appreciate if you could drop some feedback for my new song.
Filmed and edited by myself.

Peace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We6UrXjrqf0

[Tash8]

this is like Role Model by Em on a Kanye West beat with the Mercy chorus. That coffee sleeping pill line was hilarious. Good work man, this was a very cool concept and a nice flip on Mercy.

[cement]

the toilet part of the video was goat dude

[MistaVijilantee]

:laughing: this is like Role Model by Em on a Kanye West beat with the Mercy chorus. That coffee sleeping pill line was hilarious. Good work man, this was a very cool concept and a nice flip on Mercy.

Mercy?
I can't tell if you're mistaken or trolling?
Clear it up plz.

[MistaVijilantee]

the toilet part of the video was goat dude

Just in my creative environment.

[Tash8]

:laughing: this is like Role Model by Em on a Kanye West beat with the Mercy chorus. That coffee sleeping pill line was hilarious. Good work man, this was a very cool concept and a nice flip on Mercy.

Mercy?
I can't tell if you're mistaken or trolling?
Clear it up plz.

I meant clique

[MistaVijilantee]

:laughing: this is like Role Model by Em on a Kanye West beat with the Mercy chorus. That coffee sleeping pill line was hilarious. Good work man, this was a very cool concept and a nice flip on Mercy.

Mercy?
I can't tell if you're mistaken or trolling?
Clear it up plz.

I meant clique

Ha, sorry man I wasn't accusing you or anything.
Appreciate your feedback, thank you sir

[MistaVijilantee]

bump

[Vice]

for a 13 year old it's not bad, but you need to not wear a mask sitting on that toilet ever again.. looked really awkward/dumb

you're also not rapping from your heart/soul, you sound like you're doing what everyone else in the rap game is doing. find your own style, stop faking it, because you have some talent for a young kid and if you can work hard and foster your abilities you may have something REAL in a few years

this song isn't very good, but def keep at it

[cityfan31]

This was sick man.

Honestly, is that your real voice?

You sound like you've smoked for 20 years. So good!

Favourite part of the video was that bit with the mask.

Gonna play this again now.

[MistaVijilantee]

for a 13 year old it's not bad, but you need to not wear a mask sitting on that toilet ever again.. looked really awkward/dumb

you're also not rapping from your heart/soul, you sound like you're doing what everyone else in the rap game is doing. find your own style, stop faking it, because you have some talent for a young kid and if you can work hard and foster your abilities you may have something REAL in a few years

this song isn't very good, but def keep at it

I really appreciate your honesty, bruh. Thank you
Although, can you elaborate on me "faking it"?

[MistaVijilantee]

This was sick man.

Honestly, is that your real voice?

You sound like you've smoked for 20 years. So good!

Favourite part of the video was that bit with the mask.

Gonna play this again now.

I rap with an inflection but yes that is pretty much my real verse.
Glad you liked it

[Vice]

"this is (???) music, get your head shot to it"

you'll never shoot anyone, and imo rapping about things you'll never do is faking it

lines like this, and the whole "i wreck MC's" concept is a pretty played, over-used, generic style to use

don't think that i didn't recognize what you were doing with your rhyme patterns, for a 13 year old that was impressive. but you were at your best when you were rapping about not going to class and getting B's because that was actually believable and didn't come off as tacky

[MistaVijilantee]

"this is (???) music, get your head shot to it"

you'll never shoot anyone, and imo rapping about things you'll never do is faking it

lines like this, and the whole "i wreck MC's" concept is a pretty played, over-used, generic style to use

don't think that i didn't recognize what you were doing with your rhyme patterns, for a 13 year old that was impressive. but you were at your best when you were rapping about not going to class and getting B's because that was actually believable and didn't come off as tacky

"Red Dot Music"

At the time of writing I was listening to that song a lot, and what I said doesn't mean literally I will shoot you in the head, but rather my music it so controversial it can divide people enough to want to do that.
I can agree on the "I wreck MCs" I hate that too haha.
I wanted this to be a "hype" track basically with colossal shit talking throughout, obviously like you said incorporating what I actually do "Skip school, jack off, wish I was more athletically talented, shoplifting, not really caring, having to take meds, talking about other MC's, being A.D.H.D".
Aside from the aforementioned it isn't exactly "realistic", you know just because someone doesn't like my music I wouldn't turn them "Paraplegic" obviously but to me it sounded cool and had a nice image to it.

[Eedee]

Thought I fed this. Guess not... haha

Anyway, this was a very dope/chill song. For being only 13, you're got a great grasp on lyricism and whatnot. All that needs work is your flow and delivery at times. I know the hook was supposed to be bland or whatever, so I won't talk about that. But sometimes your flow falters in the sense that you do sound bored or you stretch words to fit the beat. It's not as smooth as it can be, although it is very solid.

I'll write/record for your cypher song with Dilz soon, by the way.