I've got a song called "Light It Up" and that song, actually, I had that song for about two years before I put it out. It's a personal record and I did it over the "Purple" instrumental off Nas' Lost Tapes.
It was just talking about the time after Big Proof passed and what was going through my head and the things I was going through. It was a really dark time for me. I was just going through so many different emotions.
I even rolled out, not knowing what the f*ck I was doing, but I rolled out illegally with some things I shouldn't have had and I just wanted to catch the person that did the sh*t. I was on some vigilante sh*t, riding around early in the morning on some crazy sh*t. Crying. Drunk. On some wild sh*t and I knew I had no business doing it but I was just filled with so much emotion. I was just that mad. I was cruising with a gauge, doing that sh*t, because I was upset.
There weren't any straight answers coming out, the media had it twisted, so I was crushed. I used the song to explain how the city felt. We've lost a lot of people in this city and it was a special track for me because I never put my heart into a track like that before. The only time I did that was on our "Good Die Young" track.
That "Light It Up" record was just me pouring it all out and everything I said on that was all true. I was telling people what I was doing and how I was feeling. The media portrayed him as a crazy person. So many people focused on the negative part of the story and that f*cked up the whole investigation pretty much.
They made him out to be just another hip-hop cat that got killed. There were a lot of people around him that were there and no one really had a true answer that I would accept. A lot of sh*t didn't add up. Everyone was going crazy at the time and so that was just a very personal record.
I just had to get that out on paper to let people know how I was feeling.
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