by Eedee » Jul 26th, '14, 07:13
I boarded the plane all smiles, eager to arrive at my destination. Despite being sleep deprived, I was in a good mood. I scooted myself down the jam-packed aisle, trying to find my seat. Whispers and ambient noise flooded the cabin as I laid eyes on my correct row number. I sat down, put my seatbelt on, and closed my eyes. 15 hours and I'll be in Australia....
My mind drifted to the space below where our bags were packed. I hope my bottle of lube doesn't explode if we get too high in the air. I shrugged the thought off and let my mind wander. Thoughts of that long flowing black hair swirled around in my head when I awoke to a rather unpleasant noise. I looked over to my right and Dr. Dre was snoring, head leaned against the window. I thought to myself, how the fuck is Dre sitting right next to me? He had a shitty pair of Skullcandies in, so I tapped him on the shoulder.
"Wha-what?" he muttered.
"Hey Dre, would you like to use my pair of Beats by Dre?" I asked him, pulling them out of my backpack.
"Hell yeah." he replied, half smiling at me.
"That'll be tree fiddy please," I said as I transformed into the Loch Ness Monster right before his eyes. He pulled out a five Benjamins at gave them to me and said "Please return to being human." So I took his money and sat there chilling. Just then an explosion rocked the plane. People not wearing seat-belts bounced up and hit their heads on the ceiling. Cries echoed down the cabin, screams for help permeated the scene. Blood sprayed from random rows, a severed head was being tossed back and forth like a sick game of hot potato. I pocketed my money and turned to Dre and said "Hey Dre, got any more money?"
So he unzipped his jacket and reached into his training bra and pulled out a yellow envelope that was pretty full. He looked me in the eye and said, "If I don't make it, make sure everyone hears this album." Just when I went to reply to him, he had already shot himself in the face with his gun.
The bullet went through his face and through the window. In a fit of cliché, not-sure-if-reality chaos, I was being sucked into this hole with a force of a million Demaz buttholes. Clinching me tighter and tighter until slipped through the hole like some type of octopus. Lucky for me the plane was only about ten feet off the ocean so I landed pretty harmlessly. Lucky for me my bag was waterproof. Lucky for me there was an island not fifty feet to my right. So I swam over to the island just in time to turn around and see the plane go up in a ball of flames as it smashed into Australia, fucking spiders.
I get my old Walkman out of my bag and load up one of these CDs, and put on my blood-stained Beats by Dre that I snatched off his bloodied face. The CD loads up and all I hear is Dre saying one phrase over and over. "Smoke weed, you die on a plane son"... I emptied the envelope onto the beach and four more Detox CDs lay on the sand before me. I load them all up and they are all the same. One track, 69 minutes long of the same fucking phrase over and over.
I give up and lay on my back, looking up at the sky. A single tear rolls down my cheek.
mdemaz wrote:dam