Ego vs. Catastrophic (R2 CW 2013-14)

[PAINKILLƎR]

Creativity [4]
Chemistry [3]
Flow of the Narrative [2]
Technical Skills [1]
Free point [1] (Intangibles: a clever line, or something that stood out)

Beat

Menzo
Geno

I woke up seein' stars, this environment I'm in, it seems bizarre
I feel my arms shake in sharp pains and both my knees are scarred,
And scraped, I'm also chained by the legs, is this a dream or not?
I spot Geno, he's unharmed but out cold, I wake him up
"What the hell you shakin' for?! The coma thing? I'm playin' son,
I just made it up cuz I'm a dick, yeah, I'm your greatest bud!
But uh..what's with the chain? Is this.. one of your games?
Or have we been abducted to space by some.. alien race?!" (Haha)
"That's crazy to say but now since my brain isn't hazed
I can recall being chased by a spaceship and taken away"
"Maybe there's a way to find natives and make 'em explain,
But make it with haste, I can see a massive laser aimin' to space"
Terrified, feelin' paralyzed as these feral lifeforms
Stared, each with three pair of eyes, my hair stood high
They're weapon's barrel lined towards Earth, the peril rised
They said to state our case with some faith to save the race tonight
And there aligned a chance for Ego hopefully to change a mind,
"We bet you love the Earth inside, there ain't a way to hate it right?
Face it guys, everything you threat can be evaded I'm not afraid,
In fact YOU should be afraid and stay awake at night"
"You faggot fuckin' halfwit fucks with your Asian eyes
We'll call your bluff, blow it all up but pay the price
We're the bi-products of you, remember when the apes were spliced?
You made us like you and prayed we'd thrive too, ain't that right?
Your supreme intelligence ain't impressive, it's hardly shit
You narcissists, we are YOUR kids - bet that's hard, isn't it?"
"We roam in the dark menacin', never to spark penitence,
We even got a big ass gun that we knock women with,
Sound familiar? Hah, what a predicament,
The same fuckin' kids that you're threatenin' are descendants bitch!"
"The only thing that's depressin' is what we never did
Which was destroy the Earth ourselves, every president
Your negligence only helped us win, HA-HA suck my seven inches
Of megalithic heaven bitches - ayo G, how we gonna settle this shit?"
On a whim I reached down deep in my pants pocket,
Scrounged up some change, a bullet and chanced on it,
Whipped out a pistol from the back of my jeans,
Chucked the slug in and yelled "ATTACK 'EM ON 3"
Cocked and loaded, ready, I aimed it straight to the brain,
Of the alien fuck face running to the laser and sprayed,
"Toss it over!" I got the pistol, shot the chain off my leg
Just as I saw one hobblin' closer to a pod to escape into space
Blasted him in the ass and that's when he popped like a paper mache
Time to vacate this place man, we'd be crazy to stay,
Noticed an opening and decided it was best to run,
We dove face first into the pod and jetted up,
Hit the "self destruct" button on the side of the hatch,
And watched the whole planet burst into a pile of ash,
"Fuckin' finally, we've got some quiet time to relax..."



Beat

Eedee
Mr. DGAF

DGAF and I were just comparing our dick size,
And overhead we saw somethin' that gave us a big fright.
I slowly said “that object’s coming straight for this hill, hide!”
So we get behind the hill and gaze at the still sky
It's crazy how chill my bones became as I sit, like
I die if I move, but how it moved didn't sit right.
We glimpse and begin trying to scoot when a thin guy
Moves from the inside of his fuselage, in five --
Seconds before we know it, a beam shot down
We see the ground shrink, in a blink we are out.
Awoke from sleep to the sound of fluorescent lights flick
Tried to let my eyes sit but couldn’t recognize shit
Our arms and legs are tied with some type of rope
That's when an alien come over with a microphone
It tries to open up it’s mouth but couldn’t manage a sound
Then slightly croaked until he found the words -- “your planet is ours…”
I looked at D, me and him were both rigid and scared,
Told the alien "You know, homie, this isn't fair."
I go to say to it “You can’t! Earth is destined to live”
It replies "Then why is it filled with such negative shit?"
We said “it’s all about perspective, you can’t blame us for all our faults”
Then it responded “how would you explain for the holocaust?”
That was genocide, but you can shorten to Geno,
We are aight, but them? Put a fork in their Ego.
They’re a force of pure evil, and we need to let you know
They’re cancerous, some damaged nuts, they’re ego-testicle
They hatch these plots, Valdez and boy it's real,
That X on target? You see the shit Menzoil spilled?
Oh, it killed an ocean filled with life, so they hate fish too
We hate to speak 'il' of you, just trying to make it through...
We gave him extra letters cause of the L, I gave to you
Leaned over to DGAF, said "This gon' save us, dude!"
We notice our dream chance, said "this isn't for us"
I looked at the alien and I was thinkin' we must -
Give 'em Ego, I mean yo, might be the ticket for us
I see us livin' for what? Maybe a few minutes, but come -
If we convince 'em that once they take Ego our people
Will thrive and evil will die, that's decietful and I,
Won't stand for lies! But fuck it, my hands are tied.
I didn't plan to sacrifice this band of rhymers for the planets life
Now I have half a mind to snatch em', ight? Well there you have it guys:
The evil that you find is them, I'm damned if I have to die
For their bastard lives... I think we made a decision,
Don't destroy the Earth, point your beam and aim for the bitches.
Don't even wait, you can end all of this in ten minutes
And I can prove their communists, look, they're the only red members!
They said "well, we'll take em", but Eedee frowned
He said "we lied", I said "with Ego dead we get a freebee round"

[Eedee]

Nice. Excited to see the votes. :')

[Eedee]

Eedee, I just saw your text from yesterday. Sorry fam. I was talking to somebody at the time and I didn't notice it. I'll feed this either tonight or tomorrow, whenever I get around to it. I haven't read the pieces yet, but I'm sure both teams brought the goods.

By feed you mean vote, right?

[Eedee]

Where's the other battle, btw?

I don't wanna triple post in a thread but bigray/Trimss dropped out.

[CanadaPure]

Where's the other battle, btw?

I don't wanna triple post in a thread but bigray/Trimss dropped out.

Just post Pain and I's anyway. It's hilariously bad.

[Eedee]

I just got off work so I'll post it now.

[SliK]

Creativity - Eedee/DGAF [4]
Chemistry - Geno/Menzo [3]
Flow of the Narrative - Geno/Menzo [2]
Technical Skills - Geno/Menzo [1]
Free point - Edde/DGAF (the ego metaphor was good) [1]

Edde/DGAF - 5
Menzo/Geno - 6

Let me know if I did it wrong.

[Eedee]

Nah you're good homie. Thanks for the vote!

Horse and Snake, you're up.

[Eedee]

Nice, thanks for the vote!

Snake, do your thing.

[Snakebeast]

Rather short post this time, kinda busy, sorry

Creativity [4] ~ Catastrophic

Both teams did a fantastic job with the concept. However, Catastrophic went above and beyond, even taking jabs at Ego and trying to convince the aliens to kill them instead, which was hilarious.

Chemistry [3] - 1.5 to Catastrophic, 1.5 to Ego (Tie)

Both teams had great chemistry. You bounced off each other and in general were both great.

Flow of the Narrative [2] Ego

Technical Skills [1] Ego

Free point [1] Catastrophic

Catastrophic's piece was simply more fun and interesting to read. I can tell you genuinely had fun with it.

My vote:

Catastrophic ~ 6.5

Ego ~ 4.5

Catastrophic wins. Regardless, both teams did a fantastic job.

[Eedee]

DGAF and I onto the finals!

Thanks for voting everyone, and good job to Ego for bringing a dope piece.

Gonna lock this now.