by 12characters » Mar 27th, '13, 17:19
Well... fuck lol.
Fuck it, I'm posting anyways.
(5) Punchlines - Payne, the internet gangster line was dope as fuck lol.
Plus, Ray had some weird ones like the "Go ahead drop a diss, but first let me take a piss, amigo" and "I’ll eat him quick like twix than shit smoke more cannabis". They sound like rambles tbh.
(3) Personals - Ray, though Payne had some good ones too. You both had personal disses and forum persona disses.
All in all though, I think Ray's about the Desperadoes was the most effective.
(3) Multies/Rhymes - Payne.
Those awkward switch ups can hurt you sometimes, Ray. I mean, I think I can see what you're going for (like some of the old east coast shit), but those only really work in audio tbh.
(3) Flow - Payne, it's always hard for me in text tbh, but I had to stretch the words more with Ray's.
(2) Structure - Payne, even though Payne had some run ons in the beginning, Ray's rhymes were totally misaligned.
(1) Vocab/Complex - Payne, because the way Ray worded some of his lines was really awkward. Plus, Payne's sounded more believable like;
'You avoided Slik, trying to take the easy way out
And he's afraid of Spyders, haha I'm teasin' Ray, ouch'
sounded a lot better and smoother than
'When they names changed to green it wasn’t a dream
You lost all your self esteem, Canada Pure and Eedee
They don’t even acknowledge you they fled the scene
Geno and Slik, both can suck a dick close your lips geez!'
Golden God!CanadaPure wrote:I'd fuck 12Characters