DARKMAN WROTE:
ive come to put this motherfucker in his place
always see him talking wack, ima put a bullet in his face
u aint nothing dawg, ur nothing but a piece of shit
i feel like im wasting my time with these lines i spit
but i couldnt keep my feelings inside no more
coz u think ur the only one who can keep it raw
u might as well just turn around and take a bag of coke
coz ur rhymes aint nothin but a fuckin joke
how u gonna respond dawg, ive already killed u twice
wit these lines i spit, u aint even a tenth of obie trice
so turn around now, and forget that this was ever happenin'
youll now think twice about doing some more battlin'..BIATCH!!
'u might as well just turn around and take a bag of coke
coz ur rhymes aint nothin but a fuckin joke'weak punchline this is the case throughtout the verse.
the layout to your verse is clean however your verse didnt exactly make me jump for joy.Was just standard stuff said.Try addressing dope.At the moment you could use your verse on anyone.You called out dope so you obviously got a problem,address those problems.
DOPE WROTE:yo this guy,, wantsta battle ima puncture his eye
leave it ruptured, n mashed to die
im comin thru like Jason i got a mask on
when i slit thru your chest, all i see is a tampon
flip you, i stamp a stamp on, your fuckin gaping ass
u cant match this, its so hot , u'll think that satan raps
dont piss me off,ima cut ur wirst open n pull ur artiries out
u be sayin, a thug is hard to be now
when i rap i'll get it, its the wrap,
i shitted
DARKMAN up in a battle rap?ima use him to wipe my ass crack, ,,,,,,
after the crap is spitted
n u sayin u already killed me twice
how the fuck dawg?, that line was cool as litin a fire up on ice
puttin a fuckin bullet in my face, yeah tape it to nose
thats the only way u can do that, u got YOURself exposed
u gunna explode, dark man, u like my fart dam!
i start and, just end u as soon as i do, i hit u a lyricall dart man!!!
this is alot better in terms of form and lyrics.Punchlines aitn exactly 'stop the show this cats dead' but some good ones.I did liek this one:
'flip you, i stamp a stamp on, your fuckin gaping ass
u cant match this, its so hot , u'll think that satan raps'
however your layout on the rap is very messy.its like one long sentence then a two word sentence.
Overall both verses aint nothing special however dope wins this one.Darkman verse,although there wernt nothing wrong,there was also nothing right.Dope wins it on basis of attempting to use wider vocabulary and at least attempt to personalise the rap to the person he is battling.
DOPE WINS!