rap between newbies

[tigrot]

this is my first rap battle that i am goning to TRY to make...pls dont laugh at me i am just trying to get into it...pls give me some feedback...i read the "rules"..i am just going to practice what i think i have learned

yho man...you know what
i feel like a dumb of shit
walking down the street
carring a gun and hiding it

when i can use my fuckin mouth
to shut you up, motherfucker!

so what do you think about this small paragraph? is it disastrous? :s

[Speech]

i ain that good in this sh*t homie so i cant critizice it fo sho......but i think i can really tell that this is sum newB stuff......is there any beat i have to imagine in da backround?
if yes tell me homie

[tigrot]

i ain that good in this sh*t homie so i cant critizice it fo sho......but i think i can really tell that this is sum newB stuff......is there any beat i have to imagine in da backround?
if yes tell me homie

i have told you that i am a newbie...this is in fact the first paragraph i have ever written...i didn't lied ehh lol

btw. yhe of course there is some sort of beat.

how can i improve it?

and if you are a newbie too, can you continue it? or am i so that bad that it isn't worth it?

[Speech]

of course i can and ya ain that bad.....just....new LMAO

ok.........

im lil confused bout that gun in ya hand \\
is it normal to shoot ppl in that part of ya land? \\
you say ya cant rap, i think you quite can \\
but seeing this homie is a good beginnin man \\
ya say ya feel like a dumb(piece????) of sh*t, \\
prove it \\
abuse sum1 and get hit \\
if ya dont, don matter 2 me \\
get bedda and try 2 become da maddest EMCEE \\


ok....so that wasnt perfect either but try to respond cuz i think helping each otha is a good way of learning homie.....and just say of what song ya imagine when ya spit stuff homie

peace

[tigrot]

ok....so that wasnt perfect either but try to respond cuz i think helping each otha is a good way of learning homie.....and just say of what song ya imagine when ya spit stuff homie

peace

yhee of course i will respond...that's why i started this topic in order to learn from each other...but currently i am at work and i don't have time, and neither tonight, i am going to my part time.so i will respond tomorrow.

btw...that was nice hope i can get some good shit for you

[tigrot]

i don't want to wait for that...it will be too long...so this is my replay:

are you confused? yhee, i thought you would be
cause you are shady, but still needs a homie
and i won't prove anything for you cause for god's sake
you will sure try it up
and you know what, i won't have the chance to see you beeten up

and what was that shit about cats and cheetahs
you sound as if you want to be like ones
so why don't you try living in a jungle
instead of mentioning my girl britnie
i'll tell you this angie,
you will sure safe your face
rather than staying with shityhomie

hehehe no hearth feelings ehhh

i don't think i will have the chance to replay before tomorow afternoon

cya guys

[Ka0t1c]

im no newbie but i'll go easy or am i considered one? i dunno but here it goes:

who be them newbies?
im assuming me
when truly i see the key
into persuiting my dreams
not believing movies on tv
so im resuming my means
n not losing my speed
when illusions proceed
to confuse me indeed
so you should remove thee debri unsuiting: unclean
a duty i lead until i do leave
once you choose to delete my future entries

[tigrot]

im might run as fast as a cheetah
but im no pussy
i can take anything u thow at me i aint no sissy
my lil rhyme was funny
i do it for fun hunny
u cant say a thing to make me back down
might act like a clown
but ill slap that smile off ir face.. leave u w/ a frown
a smile upside down
ill come at u w/ silly joke
there silly rhymes got ur ass up in smoke
it;ll be sure to make u have a stroke
im here to have fun im not here to provoke
im a joke and ill still make u choke

hehehe this is getting interesting...this is my third replay, hope i am getting a little bit better:)

yhee..
you sure live in some imagination
or are you just an animation?
i might act as a clown
at least i am not that down
that rap as if i had a breakdown

you are surely a sissy
that acts as a piggy
you look as if you go with shitty
or you are just a little bit silly?
you didn't read the topic, you damn pussy
this is for newbies
not for some bullies
you already posted some battles
so get you ass and post it somewhere else.

[tigrot]

wow,
if i loose this battle
i'll still be happy
cause i made a bitch
looking for a stich
don't know how to shut me up
of course,
cause you are a just a piece of scrap
for you my lyrics sux
hehehe thats because you cant fuck
why dont you try with mem
oh shit, you cant
cause he's fuckin with pooh
you old fool
although you become two
i can eat all of you
mem, where those some lyrics
coming from some sillies?
you can't rap
go and find a fuckin pet


ppl, this is just a rap battle....we still remain friends ehh:)