by EminemBase » Sep 14th, '11, 05:25
Virginity means little to me.
Sex is overblown and can be taken too seriously (I know it's not taken nearly seriously enough by many too, in respects to children, but in the context of its 'depth'). It's the most natural and PRIMITIVE thing known within life. Our only true 'purpose' (though that's a strange word to use in the context of the reality of life by natural selection) is to reproduce.
The true function of sex, is to reproduce. The reason we feel pleasure is because our genes have evolved that way to essentially trick us into having more sex. And we've then out-thought our genes by inventing birth control.
So, if you wish to have sex for pleasure but do not wish to have children, use birth control. There's nothing 'special' or unique about sex but... if you wish to wait to find somebody you're truly attracted to or emotionally connected with to have sex, I see nothing wrong with that either.
I do think that you should probably have sex for the first time at a fairly ripe age as it probably matures the brain in the context of sexual / human experience in certain ways that cannot be achieved without having sex. So I think waiting until say, middle-age, is unnatural and probably a little unhealthy pyschologically.
Probably more-so for men than women. As men have not evolved to wait until middle-age to reproduce. We of course don't have to reproduce now, but the intentions of the genes are the same and stifling yourself for too long probably does more harm than good for your understanding of intmacy and other emotional upshots regarding relationship and sexuality.
And yes I do think there is a double-standard when it comes to men vs. females. As in, men are proud and praised of having a lot of sex, and females are shamed and looked down on. But this is not a total social invention or 'of the times' psychological misguide...
Men and women ARE different and we are wired for different elements, and we have evolved for different reasons. Men ARE more sexually-driven as in, out more-so for sex than women on average as the male is the 'hunter' of our species, it's the male's 'job' to seduce the female. That's not a romantic pastime, that's an evolutionary truth.
Females are wired for caring for children or at least thinking of it which is why they're more natural with babies and why they choose partners often initially, more-so on behaviour than just looks. Looks often indicate good health and so both men and women adhere to bias when it comes to looks, and it's not as shallow as is made out, as we're designed to look for the most healthy and efficient genetic matches to allow for the best chance of genetically healthy children.
This is also why women care more about stature and money, I know some women are materialistic and care about money for other reasons (as do some men) but an important note is that stature and money, in this society, often account for independence and your ability to look after yourself, and others. Not always, and there's more examples now than ever of people born into wealth, and morons getting their 15 minutes (Paris Hilton) but even so, it's a generic indicator.
So this is why females can be attracted to what you may think are fairly ugly or average looking guys in the media who have a strong stature, wealth and a lot of independence. Again, it's genes disguising one thing as something else. It feels like natural attraction and sexual attraction but the hidden agenda for females, is the desire of a caring, independent, safe male. For children.
Men are also designed so that we can have multiple children, with multiple women. This provides the best chance of broad and consistent reproduction hence over-population and the strength of our dominant species. Women are not designed like this, and having a child and making that emotional and child-father connection with a male has a signifcant toll.
Anyway, to sum up... virginity... uh, well the word is just a concept we've created for somebody who hasn't had sex yet. It doesn't hold any significance in reality and it's probably more psychologically and emotionally healthy to lose it sooner rather than later. BUT there's nothing wrong and it's probably also better to only have sex with people you genuinely like.
Otherwise, you may end up treating partners more like objects, than partners and develop sexual addiction or self-loathing and confusion as a result of too much aimless intercourse. I'm a sexual addict, in my head, as sexual mania is a huge part of Bipolar type 1, or can be. If I had a girlfriend I'd probably be fucking for days on end, but... that's not bragging as it's not enjoyable. It's just out of control and even becomes distressing lmao. As it just takes over and is never-ending.
I'd conclude by saying, stop taking sex so seriously. It is what it is. Be conscious of the risks (STDs) and be conscious of the results (children). But it's not holy, or sacred. It's natural.