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Once upon a time... There was a guy named CrashBand. Unfortunately, he was brutally murdered. This is his story.
Clap hands for CrashBand, a first round slaughter. The damn man just can't rap, a first round slaughter. My kingdom, my income, a first round slaughter. Come get some, cuz it's fun, a first round slaughter. A first round slaughter's what you're looking at, son A seasoned vet fuckin' ya crooked ass up. Pushing past ya as I shook ya ass up.
Time to whip out my dick and shove it (2Deep) In your ass, listen to this, you'll love it. I need to clear my head, suck my dick, it's clouded Come to think about it... well, cum to think about it! You said you can relate to Eyedea and that Eyedea was too ugly to make it So that gives me the idea that you're too ugly to fake it. Fuck me, the patience that I have is wearing thin Why are you rapping? Your fucking ass can barely sing. You're married to failure with a 24 carat-ring. Dare I think that CrashBand can outlast? My assault? He has his pants crapped so down-pat. It's a serious debate if he'll spit or swallow [1] Moan, piss and wallow all you want, this Apollo Moon landing's funny since I'm rapin' your ass [2] You can't fuck with ex's, so go break up with rap.
This New Zealander can't be grasping my sicker thoughts How does it feel to be detached from the bigger plot? [3]
Crashband, I'm going to break your hymen Make you quiet because I'm going to take your hyphens [4] And shove them so far up your ass You'll actually pray for silence. And that's funny because you debate while crying That God's an ungrateful tyrant, and saying I'm wack is as truthful as saying Kobe's a rapist Bryant. [5]
[1]: He's always in the Serious Debate section. [2]: 'Mooning' -> ass [3]: Bigger plot = Australia (of land)/reality [4]: Don't-you-just-love-his-hyphens-when-he-rhymes? [5]: The charges were dropped against Kobe, and there's evidence to refute the rape claims... Therefore, "rapist Bryant" = untrue.
CrashBand wrote:
Make a diss with a hot beat, is that you tryna be original?/ I won't be too critical, but your writing isn't lyrical/ Your personals in your verse and all the punchlines are to a minimal/ Your fine with all this nonsense shit, as long as it's "Rhyming multi syllables!"
I wish I had been put against your brother/ Least, it would’ve made this tougher/ To grab this battle title that I’ve took’n straight from under/ Your nose and I know I’m not s’posed to judge a book by it's cover/ But it’s hard…when you and Jon Albertson look like each other/
So I don’t blame you for the time you sought advice for university You wanna score some girls and put some time aside and work with me The first thing we needa do is give you liposuction surgery/ And hide the fact that you’ve assembled rhymes for all eternity/ But shit you're still ugly – I’ll have to lie it’s “just externally” Eedee’s going through withdrawals, we need fries and fifty burgers please
I’m your one shining hope to help you find a hoe, that doesn’t mind a nerd rapping ‘bout his mighty woes But your fat seismic rolls, I will not lie it's gross Eedee put down the shake, grab a diet coke and you took offence and was in fighter mode and warned me “Crash, if we have a battle, then the next time your toast”.
It’s funny how you think your tough, but Instead it is petty/ I was just trying to help…. but I regret it already/ the girl I was setting you up with was ready to suck dick/ But I wouldn’t even bother now, it’d be better to jump ship/
Because Eeedee…. your face literally looks like it was made with a scalpel She’d never get with you...not even if you came to her house and gave her some flowers and serenade her for hours/
Not even if you lost all this weight and your down to like 800 hundred pounds and your mum and dad are gleaming and radiating with proudness
Fuck!…. not even if you pay her a thousand.
Dude…..seems like we’re faced with this mountain… but then I started thinking of a way to get round it
She needs to take in a deep breath... close her eyes and hold her nose I'd cover your face... and then she can try a motorboat
Remove the bag and it looks like you might've overdosed Cos when I look into your eyes... you look so fucking high on chromosomes
Yo, this battle's fucking lame! but your gayer than this is/ So I'll make a certif'cate / that you can display if you win this / Go home and put it on your wall/next to that photo of Susan Boyle/ and under your banner that says “It's Okay To Be Different!”/
eedee , your last line could fire either way ahahaha
welll... now we wait
(i think i already know who may end up winning this battle)
"I take yall diss as endearment - I love it when I hear it Maybe words offensive - free speech I don't fear it Maybe music can take us to a place so atmospheric Beyond our greatest imagination, illuminatin' experience If we open our ears and close our inhibitions, it's clear" - Tadpole
(5) Personals - Crash (5) Punchlines - Crash (5) Flow - ED (5) Delivery - ED (1) Complexity - Crash (1) Mixing/Mastering - ED (1) Beat Choice - ED
if this was a text battle i prob woulda gone with Crash, but since its audio, ED took it on every audio category. there was no beat, which really kinda makes flow useless as well. but given a natural flow, Crash still had stops and breaks like he was awaiting crowd reaction or something. Delivery was forced and yelling, just sounded corny. your not trying to fill a venue. so ED got that as well. ED mixing was more clear, because of the lack of beat on Crash's verse there was too much reverb. i gave all the text categories to crash because i thought he had a slight edges in personals where as ED didnt really have too much deep. just basically that he posts in Debate section. his punches actually made me smile and complexity was close to me, but i gave that to crash as well.
Crash had much better disses, lyrics, flow and a lot of strong personal punches. By far. Eedee had better audio and delivery, but he was riding the beat and used it as a crutch.
I would give it to Crash, but since it's an audio battle, Eedee might win.
"I take yall diss as endearment - I love it when I hear it Maybe words offensive - free speech I don't fear it Maybe music can take us to a place so atmospheric Beyond our greatest imagination, illuminatin' experience If we open our ears and close our inhibitions, it's clear" - Tadpole
tadpole25 wrote:Crash had much better disses, lyrics, flow and a lot of strong personal punches. By far. Eedee had better audio and delivery, but he was riding the beat and used it as a crutch.
I would give it to Crash, but since it's an audio battle, Eedee might win.
Crashband took this easily. His verse was much better written and actually seemed like a battle verse. Eedee's verse didn't seem like it had any punches at all and was kind of lame. It's hard to judge the sound because of the obvious communication issue in how to record your verses so all that's pretty irrelevant and you have to judge it based on the quality of the lyrics, which obviously goes to Crashband.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
