TJ Marrs - Space Trip

[tjmarrs20]

Link: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=169372&p=2587305#p2587305

Check out this song that I did. I definitely think it's a lot better than a lot of stuff I did before so let me know what you think.

https://soundcloud.com/tj-marrs/space-trip

[Eedee]

You had a grasp on rhymes, so that's good.

Quality needs some work, I assume it's either mixing or your mic, or both lol. Anyway, that's an easy fix.

Your flow is pretty solid, you don't sound that confident though. That comes with time and practice though.

[MistaVijilantee]

Not bad, overall.
Some of the lyrics were a bit cliche i.e the "fuck the world" line.
Mixing wasn't great but I'm sure this isn't entirely your fault lol, nonetheless it's pretty solid, keep at it@

[Mr.DGAF]

Well, the writing wasn't bad at all. Plenty of bars that I found pretty funny actually, the lungs have/cancer part caught me off guard. You do a good job at using some extended metaphors here and there; for some reason your style reminds me a bit of early Slim. Really liked the wordplay on the take ex bar. My biggest complaint is something I don't think you can really fix. I find your voice kinda annoying haha. The opening bars of the first verse with the "Uh's" and the chorus exemplify portions of the song where I thought either the delivery or voice sounded strained.

Flow was pretty good all around. There's parts where it slips in the middle of the second verse around the adele bar. Basically other than the voice I thought this was pretty good. I like your writing style a lot.

[DetroitSkills]

i enjoyed it tbh

[i4ill]

The flow was on point in most parts of the song, although I'm not that fond of the pattern, but at least you did it quite well. The delivery wasn't bad, there's definitely vast room for improvement in terms of confidence but it wasn't bad at all. The content wasn't interesting at all to me, but I'm sure it has its own fans. The beat choice was okay but the mixing needs a lot of work...Which is also a problem that I face sometimes. I think if the quality was polished, this would have been much better. Overall, it was cool.

[tjmarrs20]

Well, the writing wasn't bad at all. Plenty of bars that I found pretty funny actually, the lungs have/cancer part caught me off guard. You do a good job at using some extended metaphors here and there; for some reason your style reminds me a bit of early Slim. Really liked the wordplay on the take ex bar. My biggest complaint is something I don't think you can really fix. I find your voice kinda annoying haha. The opening bars of the first verse with the "Uh's" and the chorus exemplify portions of the song where I thought either the delivery or voice sounded strained.

Flow was pretty good all around. There's parts where it slips in the middle of the second verse around the adele bar. Basically other than the voice I thought this was pretty good. I like your writing style a lot.

About the voice, I was purposely trying to sound annoying, I wanted to sound obnoxious lol. I don't really use just one voice with my songs, I noticed that I have a bit of a different sound with each song at times. Thanks for the feedback though.

Thanks to everyone for the feedback