Freaks and Geeks - Sarking Major

by **SarkingMajor** » Nov 9th, '14, 12:31

Hey! I wrote some bars to Freaks and Geeks by Childish Gambino and recorded them a few weeks ago. I'd appreciate some feedback.

By the way, I know the production is pretty bad, I made it just as a quick demo. In future I'll have better production.

Feedback: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=174653&p=2831164#p2831164

Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sheyh3L2HjA

by **DetroitSkills** » Nov 9th, '14, 16:15

keep writing and work on that delivery

by **SarkingMajor** » Nov 9th, '14, 16:21

DetroitSkills wrote:keep writing and work on that delivery

thanks man, will do

by **Eedee** » Nov 10th, '14, 02:32

Pros:

- Flow on point
- Rhymes/structure on point
- Coherency (you make sense most of the time)

Cons:

- Delivery/mixing (as you said, only a demo though)
- Confidence (I know you probably love what you wrote but let it shine in your voice, homie!)
- Adlibs/layers (they're not properly mixed/aligned and it kinda jumbles the main rapping layer)

This is good for a 13 year old. Keep at it, you already got the basics down. Just gotta work on the upper level shit now (mixing, delivery, making sure everything is aesthetically pleasing). :y:

by **Eedee** » Nov 10th, '14, 02:49

True Wiz wrote:
Eedee wrote:This is good for a 13 year old. Keep at it, you already got the basics down. Just gotta work on the upper level shit now (mixing, delivery, making sure everything is aesthetically pleasing).

Definitely this.

I genuinely think you have a gift with this bro. To have that good of a flow at 13 is something you should be proud of.

ROM quietly sobs in the corner. :smoking:

Ily tho

by **DetroitSkills** » Nov 10th, '14, 02:57

M8 i just heard a demo of roms new shit n it might top yours eedee daaaym.

by **Eedee** » Nov 10th, '14, 03:22

DetroitSkills wrote:M8 i just heard a demo of roms new shit n it might top yours eedee daaaym.

Yeah ROM's on that shit man

by **SarkingMajor** » Nov 10th, '14, 07:20

True Wiz wrote:
Eedee wrote:This is good for a 13 year old. Keep at it, you already got the basics down. Just gotta work on the upper level shit now (mixing, delivery, making sure everything is aesthetically pleasing).

Definitely this.

I genuinely think you have a gift with this bro. To have that good of a flow at 13 is something you should be proud of.

Thanks a lot both of you. Will improve on those areas :y:

by **Spyder** » Nov 10th, '14, 20:48

not bad man, pretty much agree with what everyones said. flow is decent seems to be on point. delivery is a little lackluster. sometimes your a little hard to understand, may be the accent but whatevs. just work on your track presence and enunciate. also some of the overlays were off. keep it up doe

by **SarkingMajor** » Nov 10th, '14, 22:37

Spyder wrote:not bad man, pretty much agree with what everyones said. flow is decent seems to be on point. delivery is a little lackluster. sometimes your a little hard to understand, may be the accent but whatevs. just work on your track presence and enunciate. also some of the overlays were off. keep it up doe

Cheers, and yeah I know what you mean. Will improve :y:

by **SarkingMajor** » Nov 26th, '14, 20:06

bump bitches

Freaks and Geeks - Sarking Major

Freaks and Geeks - Sarking Major

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